The Nine Whens-The Worst Theatre Experience (Hedgerow 8-15)

The Nine Whens

(after seeing No Sex Please, We’re British on 8-15)

When one starts consulting one’s watch within fifteen minutes of the start of the play, it is probably not a good sign, not a good time.

When you’re watching a so-called farce and exclaiming inwardly that it does not make any sense, then it means you cannot suspend yourself from reality as any good Farce requires.

When you’re ready to leave at intermission time but cannot due to your car being held hostage I. e. being blocked in.

When only half the audience is laughing, and some, one suspects,  from requirement.

When one keeps remembering that this is over $50 of tickets and two hours of time, both lost irrevocably and irretrievably as though in the Sargasso sea.

When you want to post an opinion on your Neighborhood Blog or Newspaper but fear offending even more people than usual.  After all, this is an old and established Regional Theater, which usually presents good plays that are well-acted.

When you think of the stage version of Arsenic and Old Lace , among many others, and remember how funny they were.

When you vow on a stack of frozen playlets never to return.

When you exit snarling, stage right.

When you wonder if you, and only you, has just seen a Naked Emperor.


About bobsmall1

Bob Small has read at Bacchanal, Barnes and Noble, Borders, The Booksource (Swarthmore), The Clark Park Festivals,Community College of Philadelphia Highwire Gallery, The Mad Poets Annual Food Fest Reading, The Middle East Restaurant, Nexus GalleryThe Painted Bride Arts Center, The Philadelphia Ethical Society, Robin's Bookstore The University of Pennsylvania and also in New York City, Trenton, NJ, Washington, DC, and in many Delaware Valley Venues. He is the author of numerous chapbooks, including El Otro Lado (with Maralyn Lois Polak), On watching America Die, Small Steps and Toes (with Lamont B. Steptoe), and The Unapoet. This is his first Reading in over a year. Bob Small was Founder and President of the two decades old Poets and Prophets, which presented Poetry Readings in both Delaware County and Philadelphia. Bob was the Chair of The Delaware County Green Party and was the First Green Party Candidate in Delaware County (2005). He was also a Green Party National Delegate, among other duties. He is the Founder and Facilitator of The Pennsylvania Ballot Access Coalition (PaBac), which is a Coalition of both Independents and Third Parties., seeking to legislatively improve Pennsylvania's Ballot Access Laws. (Facebook) Bob is also a founding member and Facilitator of Democracy Unplugged, and Delco Debates, which has presented Independent and Third Party Forums in Delaware County since 2004. Facebook) He was formerly involved with Cinema Resistance, and Delco Pledge of Resistance. Bob currently lives in Swarthmore with his wife and their menagerie of animals. He is currently focused on writing a Novel and organizing his Poetry, which he posts on his Blog (Bob Small1). He is retired from most of the above activities, except Delco Debates and Poets and Prophets, which he may return to.
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