Outside the Bar, By the Wall-Duet for two persons, three voices
You said you’re not Gay.
But you’re not pure straight.
I’m Bi, if that hurts things.
Why didn’t you just say that?
If I did, you would of only heard that. Only heard disease words,
AIDS, Herpes, short Jewish Drag Queens. And I’ve walked past most
doors I used to-
But you could of told me
I don’t know who I am, anymore, or what parts of me matter,
it’s been so long since love could walk anyplace.
What are you looking for?
A person, a pleasure, a reason, a being,
A house to walk past in winter
What does the mirror answer?
My good points
I’m loyal, patient, solicitous, easy to feed, and don’t take up
My bad points
I’m passionate, I either love
like fire or mud
and I’m a barnacle
must find the North sea shining snow
the Ark Tik glow and go
not live in
har bour stud ies
What about your past?
The woman you said-
She’s over, I’m over
It wasn’t never a there to be over with, so it’s gone and dry.
I loved, she watches, time passes.
But if she was here right now
offering you a rose a ring a rope
giving you new news of her old noose
retraining you for her chains and chants
she’d have her blonde saddle mounted
you’d be gone
like the midnight dawn
Hey, she won’t, it ain’t, you can’t
Tell me you don’t still have a crying for her
Tell me you don’t still have eyes that look at me
with the scream of her in them
But I need you-
For a time
hoping she’ll ride you again
But in the mean time
when she’s too mean to give you time
too un seen
to give you mean and mean
just a far star voice
and you can’t
I did, I don’t, I won’t
It’s gone, it’s dawn, fool’s pawn
Period. End of sentence. End of time.
You mean you don’t still want her breaking you
into tiny, fitful, pieces.
Does it matter
if the drowning man
loves the ocean
if the rose
loves the fire
if the crippled pigeon
loves the lava
Don’t use me then as
A time to mark
between her marks
a pause be tween sparks
or as a brief time
the pause that refleshes
But I-I really do-I mean T could-I could of-before her
I’m going back in for beer and sympathy
care to join me (starts walking off)
Yeah,well, I got some talking to do, me and the wall, see,
and it’s real important, see, and it’s something ’bout a
train, yeah, I didn’t see coming and I can’t see leaving and
maybe I oughta go find it.
Bob Small-original 12/17-revised 12/24-cuts and adds done
on 12/24/83 by me and the fabulous. Roni Chernin-typed 12/26/83