Outside the Bar

Outside the Bar, By the Wall-Duet for two persons, three voices


You said you’re not Gay.

But you’re not pure straight.


I’m Bi, if that hurts things.


Why didn’t you just say that?


If I did, you would of only heard that. Only heard disease words,
AIDS, Herpes, short Jewish Drag Queens. And I’ve walked past most
doors I used to-


But you could of told me

that you….


I don’t know who I am, anymore, or what parts of me matter,
it’s been so long since love could walk anyplace.


What are you looking for?


A person, a pleasure, a reason, a being,
A house to walk past in winter


What does the mirror answer?


My good points

I’m loyal, patient, solicitous, easy to feed, and don’t take up

much space

My bad points

I’m passionate, I either love

like fire or mud

and I’m a barnacle

with tentacles

must find the North sea shining snow

the Ark Tik glow and go

not live in
har bour stud ies


What about your past?


Which one?


The woman you said-


She’s over, I’m over

It wasn’t never a there to be over with, so it’s gone and dry.

I loved, she watches, time passes.


But if she was here right now

offering you a rose a ring a rope

giving you new news of her old noose

retraining you for her chains and chants

she’d have her blonde saddle mounted

you’d be gone

like the midnight dawn


Hey, she won’t, it ain’t, you can’t

un paint
the past


Tell me you don’t still have a crying for her
Tell me you don’t still have eyes that look at me
with the scream of her in them


But I need you-


For a time

hoping she’ll ride you again

But in the mean time

when she’s too mean to give you time

too un seen

to give you mean and mean


just a far star voice

and you can’t


her voice


I did, I don’t, I won’t

It’s gone, it’s dawn, fool’s pawn

to Denver

Period. End of sentence. End of time.


You mean you don’t still want her breaking you
into tiny, fitful, pieces.

Does it matter

if the drowning man

loves the ocean

if the rose

loves the fire

if the crippled pigeon

loves the lava

Don’t use me then as

A time to mark

between her marks

or as

a pause be tween sparks

or as a brief time

the pause that refleshes


But I-I really do-I mean T could-I could of-before her


I’m going back in for beer and sympathy


care to join me (starts walking off)


Yeah,well, I got some talking to do, me and the wall, see,
and it’s real important, see, and it’s something ’bout a
train, yeah, I didn’t see coming and I can’t see leaving and
maybe I oughta go find it.

Bob Small-original 12/17-revised 12/24-cuts and adds done
on 12/24/83 by me and the fabulous. Roni Chernin-typed 12/26/83


About bobsmall1

Bob Small has read at Bacchanal, Barnes and Noble, Borders, The Booksource (Swarthmore), The Clark Park Festivals,Community College of Philadelphia Highwire Gallery, The Mad Poets Annual Food Fest Reading, The Middle East Restaurant, Nexus GalleryThe Painted Bride Arts Center, The Philadelphia Ethical Society, Robin's Bookstore The University of Pennsylvania and also in New York City, Trenton, NJ, Washington, DC, and in many Delaware Valley Venues. He is the author of numerous chapbooks, including El Otro Lado (with Maralyn Lois Polak), On watching America Die, Small Steps and Toes (with Lamont B. Steptoe), and The Unapoet. This is his first Reading in over a year. Bob Small was Founder and President of the two decades old Poets and Prophets, which presented Poetry Readings in both Delaware County and Philadelphia. Bob was the Chair of The Delaware County Green Party and was the First Green Party Candidate in Delaware County (2005). He was also a Green Party National Delegate, among other duties. He is the Founder and Facilitator of The Pennsylvania Ballot Access Coalition (PaBac), which is a Coalition of both Independents and Third Parties., seeking to legislatively improve Pennsylvania's Ballot Access Laws. (Facebook) Bob is also a founding member and Facilitator of Democracy Unplugged, and Delco Debates, which has presented Independent and Third Party Forums in Delaware County since 2004. Facebook) He was formerly involved with Cinema Resistance, and Delco Pledge of Resistance. Bob currently lives in Swarthmore with his wife and their menagerie of animals. He is currently focused on writing a Novel and organizing his Poetry, which he posts on his Blog (Bob Small1). He is retired from most of the above activities, except Delco Debates and Poets and Prophets, which he may return to.
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