Different versions of the Vision part 1

Different Versions of the visions

(redone, unable to ocr)

FacultyArt Show seen on 6-28-00

Pa. Academy of Fine Arts Gallery

13^th and Cherry

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Flowers

Alphonso Lane

Oil

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Plastic were they flowers

in boxes three

rectangle circle square

the father, the son, the mother

all sitting there

waiting for the silence to end

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Bright primary colours

yet sadly staring

as though the words were unreachable

and would not, anyhow, matter

for noone listens anymore

to what their son might say

—————————————–

The Flower Family

just sits there

not yet dead

this is a non-dance they have done

many nights before

this is just another night

——————————–

copied unchanged

Black Machine

Black Machine—1507 Walnut St

creator-Phila J ohnson-Artfront

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Kachinka-kachunka-kachunka

it/seems/to/say

I/think/I/hear

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Bang-boom-bang ‘

it says to

the man be hind me

loo king up

from his walk per son

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Crunch-boom-splat

another hears

with other

unsolicited

voices

———————————————

You must have the correct fare!

We do not stop at Bryn Mawr

or east Heaven.

However, you can take the H 2

and transfer

to east Purgatory.

—————————–

Bob Small 7-21-99

end of time

I had a dream in the enclosed room
that I woke up in a nursing home
waiting for someone to cut my cheese
to bring me liquids
to help me to the bathroom
to pretend to listen
as I failed to speak

———–——————————-
I had a dream I dare not tell you
not like the other dreams
I would not tell you
I had a dream of being in a nursing home
unable to die
yet dreaming of death

—————————————
Let this Poem be a living will, then‘
That this would be my time
to meet Dr. Kevorkian
That I do not want an extra five years
of a % life
of a life that does not
equal
living.

——-———————————-
In this sour one room suite
I cursed myself for giving up
drinking, smoking, and whoring
much too early
I wanted, at least, a cigarette
how could it hurt
how could anything hurt

—————————————–
I thought of my grandfather
who died slowly
in degrees of amputation
and forced myself to remember him whole
full of life and dream
relating how he fled the cold Ukraine
through the frigid snow
to where they caught the Ellis Island boat
by the last time of the telling
the snow had become 85 feet in height

________________________________

My father, his son,
died quickly
age 72
heart attack, stroke, whatever
a few days after the hospital
said he was fine

—————————————————
It has been seven years since his
quick
death.
Some nights I still dream we speak.
One night it will not be a dream.
But I have time yet before then.
I have time and tide to cross
many malls to meet
would Frost say now.

———————————————
Her mother died the morning before
she was to go to the home.
Maybe she knew
and decided she would not go.
By then, it was not possible to
know what she knew
know what she wanted
know what she dreamed. ,/

—————————————-
That has been a year now ‘
and it is a big fat lie
that time does indeed
make these times easier.

I dreamt on a Thursday Night
after night school class
that I woke up in a Nursing Home
waiting for someone to cut my cheese
no cats, no dogs, no Paula
it was too late then,
to cry for what I haven’t done
haven’t been
for the father I haven’t been for my daughter
and I couldn’t cry
in a dream
or in a
nursing home

——————————————-
This is only a Poem
It means very little
once the reading of it is done.

————————–
Bob Small 9-24-95

Alternate versions of Heaven

@
L
Alternate versions of Heaven

One of the questions
I have recently had
how do I say this
in a rational poem if such there is
one of the questions i
what if my version of heaven
excludes most of my ex-wives
ex-lovers but but but what if theirs
some anyhow
includes me

_____________________

includes me
who then wins the round
is it holiest
are the angels bribable
has anyone
thought this out
thought this out
is this original with me
and are there things
I’ve never been told
in sixty very odd years

Bob small 2-7-10 revised

Dionysis

Dionysius
Painting by Bonnie Sklarski
seen at More Gallery week day lunch November 1999

It was the king of painting
George would of loved
naked bodies, classical,
floating in space
It was the kind of painting he would of loved
have copied V ‘
have gone past

________________________________________

But he chose death before thirty
having had too many naked bodies with too little love

_____________________________________
It was the kind of painting that
could of stood in the Bacchanal,
looking like a typical evening there
except we all had clothes on“
at some point

and few of our bodies were well-sculpted
but we did all float in air
and knew we were important
we were so important
it’s amazing
we ever even spoke to each other.

_______________________________________
It was the kind of painting that you don’t know
whether to love or hate
and just can’t ignore
wondering why anyone
paints from the classical anymore
and what does it mean
and must all paintings mean
and can’t some things just be
and not have to mean.

________________________
And I keep wanting to be older, now,
to the point where I can look at the paintings
and not see my past
or future
or present

___________________________________—
I want the paintings to be flat
and the naked to be boring,
like the fifteenth straight day in a nudist camp,
but that never quite happens
and I’m never quite sure
is it my fault
or that
or the characters
in the painting.

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Bob Small—first 12-8-99

now having learned how to ocr old Poems

Broken Hearts on Broadway-The Compact Disc Version

Broken Hearts on roadway-the compact disc version

I just wanna be alone with you
leave the dog and cat and kid and cold at home
I just wanna be alone with you
I’ll leave my past and Poems and peculiars and
pending business that is
vital to the interests of culture lovers everywhere

home

__________________________________________________

I just want to be naked in a distant bathtub

with you

with candles and wine

without phones or televisions

your blonde hairs wet and glistening

my sharp hairs strong and listening

I just wanna

I don’t want to

I just gotta

have you

where it’s you and me

and there’s no other dreams or shadows

sitting in the bedroom

as audience

as terrorists

dropping napalm
on these two fields
that aced only the right rain
and a thin high wind
for this new rare food to burst through

___________________________________—
I just wanna be alone with you
leave the dog and cat and kid at home
my mysteries and miseries, fears and tribulations
will just have to eat TV Dinners
till  I come back
I just wanna be alone
I just wannabe
I just  want  you

originally 1-17-87 minimal revision

Sometimes you wonder

Sometimes you wonder

what it is you are doing

and who you are being

then you write

and look at her

then you stop wondering

Doctors office April 30th

Doctor’s office April 30^th

It felt like years

felt like years

we waited and wondered

waited and wondered

if we would ever be seen

__________________________________________

then we had the usual

get tests, do this, do that,

they could have been drones

we could have been drones

maybe we all could be drones

__________________________________________________—

Let me tell you the last thing

I pointed out to the Staff Person

that on the blood test form

they listed my birth gender

as being female! and they explained

we can’t change it now

The day after

Even with the absentee ballots

I still lost

I still lost

acceptance

is something I’ve learned

___________________________

My higher power

may be telling me

may be telling me

towork on writing, cleaning

and other parts of my life

_______________________

Just lost the damn election

not any other part of my life

still have my health

and my senses

and most, importantly, Paula

Woman on 14th Avenue, 1938

Note;  Finally able to scan again


This woman outlines in red,
I imagine,
waits for her sailor man
or her
stockbroker man
or her
police guy dude.
I imagine.
Of course it was New York City
nineteen hundred and thirty eight.
she could of not needed anyone to wait for
or it could of been someone
not named man.  
She could be going to the Village
or to Harlem
or to NYU,
or Columbia.
she could of been anyone
going anywhere.
Which is what New York tells us,
even then.


Bob Small
8-8-O1 from 4-27-O0
Excerpt from Brooklyn Museum of Art Friday, April 21st M